The Benefits of Tackling Unlearning!

The greatest test and challenge of maturity is actively unlearning behaviors and perceptions that negatively impact our ability to have and maintain healthy, positive, and successful relationships and encounters with others. Like many of the greatest lessons we encounter, a significant component of navigating unlearning is to first identify that there is a problem and subsequently commit to changing for the better.

That being said, it's clear that the first step in unlearning unhealthy behaviors is your decision to commit to change. And the choice is entirely yours.

I've recognized that the key to ensuring tackling unlearning is a bit easier, is the ability to recognize your level of resistance to said change. Essentially, resistance to change is counterproductive, therefore, it's important to understand that while it's certainly not easy to unlearn years of negative behaviors if you choose not to recognize that you need to change, you will inevitably stunt your growth. Additionally, if you fight the need to change you will do yourself more harm than good...

So, in my attempt to encourage you to choose to tackle unlearning, I want to illustrate the benefits. This way, you can properly weigh the pros and cons while still having a choice.

Here are FOUR benefits that come with successfully unlearning unhealthy behaviors.

I. Moving out of stagnancy

For those who are aware of my literary voice, you anticipate that I will always first make sure we are on the same page with definitions, so, when I say "stagnancy" I want to make sure we are all considering and referencing the same term. Therefore, I want to ensure that we understand stagnancy as the absence of movement or diminished growth potential.

When our growth is stagnant, we are essentially not learning any valuable lessons and or failing to recognize that we can essentially benefit from evolution. Refusing to change and put into practice better behaviors stunts growth and keeps us stagnant, however, it is most beneficial to choose to move out of stagnancy through the choice of pursuing growth for the better. Therefore, the choice to tackle unlearning gives you a leg up in ensuring that your life is continuously progressive, as opposed to being stuck in the same cycles because you refuse to learn.

II. Increased Growth Potential

Subsequently, the decision to move out of stagnancy increases one's growth potential. This essentially allows the ability to change for the better in the absence of resistance to change. The benefit is that with growth comes wisdom, which I regard as the ability to apply all the lessons learned to future situations without any consequence. When you are successfully applying wisdom (evolved understanding) and have grown from your personal experiences, you intuitively choose not to experience the same things over and over again. You make a conscious effort to avoid unwanted experiences, feelings, etc., providing room to identify and tackle more negative behavior patterns.

III. Diminished Tolerance for Toxic Behavior

With the motivation for growth and positive change comes the choice to disconnect from toxic behavior, if for no other reason than simply no longer appreciating how it feels. Because when consciously and actively engaged in being a better person, toxicity is something you typically choose to disassociate from, more specifically because toxic patterns are again counterproductive to growth. And the more clarity obtained, the easier it is to recognize people, places, and things that impede your growth so that you can avoid being triggered.

Although avoidance supports diminishing encounters, it also diminishes your tolerance and heightens your ability to recognize toxicity. Typically, creating a space of solitude for you to retreat and recover. And I know when we hear solitude, we assume lonely, but I can assure you, it does not feel the same as lonely. Similarly, perception supports better understanding, so if we can disconnect from the negative connotations associated with solitude, we can find something good in it, because solitude essentially grants us the opportunity to exist in our growth and fine-tune our perspective on what the toxic patterns, people, places and things are that we need to disconnect from.

IV. Tangible Peace

Peace is more frequently referred to as something that only the wisest can accomplish. Or it's too regarded as something that magically occurs with a decision to disconnect from people you "think" are toxic and or those keeping you stuck in negative patterns. And I purposefully put think in parentheses here because I find that we perceive traits of toxicity differently. And because toxicity is relative and how we navigate toxicity is relative (generally speaking) I must note this process can look very different from one person to another, thus, peace itself also looks different. But either way, if you commit to tackling unlearning nonhealthy behaviors, you make your version of peace that much more tangible.

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