Embracing Growth: Learning to Never Say Never

As we approach a new year, I decided to discuss something I don't believe I've ever touched on. To ensure that we're actively working toward self-actualization, we should make a few considerations before making definite statements. I hope we become intentional about the words we share with others on our growth journey.

Now, to quickly address why I used blank pages as a cover image, I feel it properly illustrates the limitlessness of our growth potential when we leave ourselves open to write, re-write, construct, re-construct, compose, re-compose, etc. (you get the drift), our habits, expectations, and perceptions. As we better understand our true power, we don't feel so confined by perceptions of hypocrisy. We know there is a learning curve, and we fully embrace the lessons. Thus, while I could write for days about several words that impair our abilities to grow, I will focus only on the word "never" for this blog post.

Never is frequently used to explain what we are not, will not be, or will not do. The problem with using the word "never" often is that it stunts our growth and limits our potential.

When you say you will never do or be something, you limit the potential. You are also ignoring lessons. Similarly, you are eliminating any margin for error.

Constantly saying what you will never be, do, say, etc., keeps you from ever being, doing, or saying those things. And while I am not here to argue that there are indeed things that we shouldn't do, be, or say, frankly, we learn lessons from those very things. Lessons that for many of us would have no meaning without the consequences that surround them...

So, how do you get into a habit of "never saying never"?

HERE ARE 3 THINGS TO CONSIDER!

ONE: UNDERSTANDING IMPACT

First, we must understand the general impact of word use on our psyche to make a conscious choice and effort to change for the better. We've seen the best examples of this during the pandemic, with how inflamed Asian racism has become all because someone decided to refer to COVID-19 as a "Chinese disease." Or how the media regularly perpetuates myths as truth, especially regarding the pandemic.

If you decide to pay attention, you'll notice how often we tend to believe things quickly that feel true or that we want to consider are accurate rather than seeking the truth. This mentality prompts our buy-in to illusion, creating distance between what we identify as accurate and the fact of our reality. This is often put into practice on social media. Regardless, the point is to understand that accepting fallacy as a reality is a choice. But when we do, we must know that this has a tremendous negative impact on our psyche.

TWO: GRANTING GRACE

Second, we must understand that using the word "never" leaves no room for error. For instance, if I say, "I'll never eat broccoli," and I am able to keep from eating broccoli for 6 years, but then one-day, broccoli doesn't seem so bad. So I try it, and love it. Fundamentally, I failed. And now, mentally, I may continue to think about that failure. Although, what I should be doing is granting myself some grace. What I failed to do was consider that my outlook may change.

That is the perception we should have. That is why we leave a margin of error to grant ourselves grace for evolution.

On the other hand, let's say I reflect on the fact that I said never and just decide I need to hold true to that decision, even though I actually want to try it. Then, the decision to refrain becomes a matter of "image," wondering what people will think if you go back on your previous decision. This inevitably hinders your ability to try something new and/or potentially life-changing! Thus, in turn, stunting your growth.

I know that was a basic example, but it illustrates the same point. Using the word "never" limits our ability and willingness to explore. Therefore, by not using "never," you grant yourself grace and room for error. You allow yourself not to feel bad or restrict yourself from trying and exploring new things.

Now, think about that for a second. Think about all the other words and phrases you recite so definitively that you ultimately become a prisoner to them...

THREE: CONSIDER THE BENEFITS!

Third, we need to understand the benefits. It is important to understand the positive impact changing negative behavior has on increasing buy-in. When you consider the benefits, you can be accountable for the desire to change and stand in that. Be okay with embracing change and articulating why. Through grace, you understand that a benefit of change is opening yourself up to an entire new realm of possibilities.

Therefore, grant yourself grace to bounce back from errors and increase the probability of learning and exploring new things. Which ultimately prompts you to embrace a life free of common limitations.

So, remember, this post is to help guide you on your growth journey with the hope that you seek to become your best self. Becoming your best self requires commitment and work. It requires intention and decisiveness. Therefore, don't read this post to add it to your list of things you now know, but please allow yourself to be better by applying the information in your life.

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