Recognizing the need to shift your perspective!

I recently had a conversation with a friend who wanted me to patronize his idea of self-pity and his inability to reinforce positive behavior. He wanted me to understand (and accept) that he had no control over his situation and had no way of creating a better outcome for himself. He essentially blamed everyone else for how he allowed himself to be treated. It is in these moments that we are intentional about accepting the reality of our choices. This will enable us to shift from the victim's mindset to being more self-aware and accountable for our role in our experience. Because while I certainly understood how he felt, I recognized that it was hard for him to accept that I disagreed.

In turn, he felt "shame." Defaulting to shame is a sign of limited self-awareness. When you are not self-aware, you view everyone else as an issue. When you are self-aware, you accept certain realities about yourself. And it is with those realities in mind, you can make healthy choices from a place of awareness.

The bottom line is that we can only play the victim role for so long. Engaging in negative behavior with a negative response does not yield anything positive, period.

Now, because I didn't want my good advice to go to waste...

HERE ARE 2 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ACCEPTING CHOICES!

EMPOWERING YOURSELF

I. REINFORCE POSITIVE BEHAVIOR!

Unfortunately, it is so easy for us to yield to negative behavior by being angry. A lot of the time, anger serves no purpose in reaching your ultimate goal. Don't feed negativity with negativity; reinforce positive behavior by smiling or even politely educating someone on why you refuse to engage. And remember that being mean to make someone understand your point doesn’t make you any better than them, nor does it get you the results you want.

When people recognize they have no power to elicit negative responses, they are forced to face their reality.

II. DON'T LOSE YOUR VOICE!

Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, but don't fault people for how you allow yourself to be treated. And don't fault people for the choices that keep you stuck!

Spend time getting to know yourself, accepting your choices, and walking in awareness.

You can set a standard of respect and decency for people to engage with you, and if they don’t meet that expectation, MOVE ON.

Protect your peace by establishing boundaries and holding yourself accountable for maintaining those boundaries.

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