I observed a post on social media that brought attention to those who use their social media platform to address things they have little to no knowledge of (fail to research). I realized how frequently people take offense to those who share unfounded opinions but shy away from confronting the individual (or individuals) they have an issue with. Thus, I saw fit to discuss the importance of confrontation.

Now, I understand that confrontation is something that has a negative connotation. That is more so because we don't know how to address issues from a healthy place. Similarly, those we confront are often offended and do not find value in healthy debate. Because what we can regard as truth is that we are all very different people who have differences of opinions and values. So, we will not always see every topic eye-to-eye. The objective, however, is not always to agree but to respect the differences.

Confronting through courage allows us to hear others' opinions and respect the differences in views and experiences. Therefore, I have composed this post to identify how to address confrontation.

Here are 4 necessary stages of confrontation that help address issues with courage!

I. BE CURIOUS!

It is important to understand that the information gathered from the news and social media platforms is all based on the perception of the individual who composed it. Similarly, in our day to day interactions with others, often conflict is a product of miscommunication, confusion or misinformation. Thus, if we know that perception and communication are typically at the root of issues, arguments and concerns, it is best to keep that in mind and confront from a place of "questioning" versus "accusing".

We could all stand to learn a bit from one another, so let's not assume we completely understand the circumstances and experience of someone else. Let's get curious. Use open ended questions and "I" statements. This will keep down any negative feelings that may arise from being accusatory.

Confronting individuals from a place of curiosity allows for a respectful interaction and healthy discussion, if we remove assumptions.

II. EXAMINE INTENTION

When engaging with others, especially in the context of confrontation, it is important to examine your intention. Because your intention could derail the entire process. From a psychology standpoint, the role of confrontation is to engage in discussion to share differing opinions, ultimately to support learning and prompt behavior changes. The results and intent would vary based on the nature of the relationship you have with the individual you are confronting. As well as the amount of time you took to take a few deep breaths and calm your mood before the confrontation.

Ultimately, although confrontation is viewed negatively, it is necessary for conflict resolution. When you confront someone, the intent to address an issue or concern. So it's important to make sure that you temper your mood and assess your intention. If you are just picking a fight, then you don't need to confront anyone. But if you have a genuiene curiosity or what to express your feelings to release them, then make sure you are approaching confrontation from a thoughtful space.

III. RELEASE GRUDGES

Why harbor negative feelings associated with unconfronted issues when you can release that energy and put it toward more positive things?

Unfortunately when you don't confront issues, anger builds up, and you become so bitter. And the more time progresses, the more you get so far from the root of the issue. All that hostility, anger, and hatred gets lost in your inability to deal with the problems. And, in turn, you hold on to more grudges longer than you probably wanted to.

Now while you may feel that grudge holding gives you power over someone else, I can tell you that is FALSE! Holding grudges stunts your individual growth and is harmful to your emotional well being. RELEASE. RELEASE. RELEASE.

IV. MOVE ON

Now moving on, I understand is easier for some than it is for others, so I will share my trick. Although you can always refer to exercising forgiveness, if not, just journal! Yep, that's my trick, journaling. You'd be surprised how freeing it is to write down your feelings, confusions and disappointments on a paper. But the key is leaving it there. And for those who continue to harbor feelings after journaling or acknowledging that no resolutio can be reached, forgive yourself for harbording on to that energy and neglecting yourself. Sounds strange but I promise it works.

FINAL THROUGHTS

If you've made it this far, you understand now that even the most rude, tackless, or crass individuals can be confronted in a way that does not render hostile results. It think it's important to remember that you are only accountable for your behavior and your response, not the response of others. However, the more mindful you are of your behavior and response, the more you can temper that response to deescalate or defuse a situation. And know that you do play a role in making sure confrontation is handled in the best possible way. And even where instances you could not reach a resolution, it's ok. Accept that it won't be resolved and move on.

Having a conversation is the best way to deal with differing opinions. And even in situations where you couldn't reach a resolution, you should still be able to learn something from that encounter. Finding the lesson in everything is key!

SHARE COMMENTS BELOW!