I recently discontinued a relationship of approximately seven years with a man who had not only been my best friend but also someone I didn't picture my life without. Some part of me believed that one day, he would be my happily ever after.

My friend wanted to ensure I was not affected because she understood the love I held in my heart for this man. She encouraged me to stay open to love, even though it didn't come from the man I had hoped. I told her I was okay and would always remain open to love, regardless, because I am a true lover. Therefore, after having that conversation with my dear friend, the content for this post was birthed.

To me, loving is too valuable not to take chances. I always give 100% in love, so when I walk away (realize my effort is no longer required), I never leave a situation blaming love. I can rationalize what doesn't work, knowing that it may not have been the right time or was not meant to be.

Because love is so great, I will always believe that it is worth taking a chance on. So here are three reasons why, while losing love can be challenging, I refuse to put my guard up!

Here are 3 reasons I refuse to put my guard up in love!

ONE: The risk of living without love is too high!

As someone who holds love so dear and deems it necessary to endure the trials of life, living without love is reason enough for me never to put my guard up.

I understand that this is one of those things that, for most, may be easier said than done. But think about this: what's the point of desiring love if you're never willing to love?

If you put up your guard, you are lowering your chances of ever encountering love. You're saying it's ok if I never open my heart up to loving someone. Because if you're not vulnerable, you will never truly love or be loved.

TWO: Fear is far more damaging than loving and learning.

There's only one thing that is just as bad, or maybe worse, than never loving, and that is loving through fear. When you are scared, in love, you are damaging not only yourself but someone else. And that's just not fair.

Loving itself is not selfish; if you understand that, you would rather be alone than break someone else's will to love. So it's crucial to make every effort not to be afraid of something that is not meant to hurt.

In the grand scheme, removing fear from love is easy. All you have to do is believe that love itself didn't choose for you to remain with someone who didn't value you or love you appropriately. If you're honest with yourself, you decide to stay with someone, hoping they will be what you need one day. That choice is on you and your lapse in judgment if and when that choice turns into a bad one.

One thing I like to remember in love is that no choice is really a bad choice. If you learn from your mistakes, you will be a better lover.

Therefore, if we held ourselves accountable for the choices we make in love instead of blaming love, we would have plenty of people taking chances in love.

THREE: There is no sure way to recognize when to let your guard down.

Many of us believe we have so much control over our emotions that we can recognize when it's the best time to let our guard down.

We play it safe until something in us (what we may think is intuition) says he or she is ok. But in actuality, the choices we make, in that regard, are not always done in our best interest. I say that because we don't always make the best choices in life, so we shouldn't think that every choice we make in love will be accurate! However, we tend to rationalize our feelings as logic. But when making choices in love, you need reason and emotion to make sound decisions.

You all know the phrase "love is blind." Well, in many ways, this phrase is accurate. When we are so focused on what we want to see from love, we tend to ignore all the signs that show us this decision is unsuitable. We allow desire and hope to shape our perception of what is happening. That's how we distort reality in love.

Now, that's not to discourage those who believe you are intuitive and "know" when the right time to open yourself up is. But this is to encourage you to be mindful that all things that challenge us are typically good for us. So, challenges in love should be appreciated, but we should never be allowed to dictate whether to keep our guard up. So, if we shouldn't be dictating when to keep our guard up, we definitely shouldn't be dictating when to let it down.

However, some of us believe that we can recognize when to let our guard down. But most of us let our guards down when it's too late. So we missed the boat, all because we didn't want to be open. For that, we compromise "a greater love" or "the greatest love" for a safe love.

Nothing is certain in life and love; if it were, we would be all knowing, right?

Sometimes, we forget that two individuals are in relationships with emotions. We often get so focused on our personal desires and needs that we don't appreciate the necessity of vulnerability in relationships.

Being vulnerable, in this sense, doesn't necessarily mean crying all day, but it means being open to feeling without remorse. Don't limit your love experiences due to fear or the belief that you always make the best choices. We don't always make the best choices and nothing good ever comes from being scared. Remember, it is better to love than never love at all.

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