Understanding the Secret to a Lasting Relationship: The Power of Attraction

First, let me ask you to consider what you believe is necessary to ensure a lasting relationship.

When I took a poll (brief poll amongst my girlfriends), I received some of the following responses:

• Love

• Sex

• Communication

• Humor

• Spontaneity

• Trust

• Honesty

• Prayer

While all of these things support healthy relationships, know that people start and end relationships all the time without any of these things.

When trying to ensure a lasting relationship, you only need one thing: ATTRACTION.

Yes, that's right, the answer is ATTRACTION.

There are tons of people who enter relationships without understanding love, in the absence of sex, with poor communication skills, trust issues, no spiritual guidance or foundation, and in the absence of truth. But when they enter into that relationship without those things, they can still be attracted to that individual.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am by no means saying the components mentioned above aren't necessary because they are, but I am saying that you don't get the desire to do those things in a relationship in the absence of attraction.

And I know some people define attraction by how good sex is or because someone trusts them or is honest with them, but frankly, that is not attraction.

There are four types of attraction that we don't realize are keys to relationships. Understanding the role of attraction is important to understanding how and why a relationship will or will not work.

So here are the 4 types of attraction important to ensuring lasting relationships:

1. PHYSICAL ATTRACTION

2. SEXUAL ATTRACTION

3. SOCIAL ATTRACTION

4. INTRAPERSONAL ATTRACTION

Physical attraction is the first level of attraction and is the degree to which you find an individual physically desirable. More specifically, attraction to external attributes, eye color, hair, beard, physique, swag, style, etc. Each of these are physical characteristics that you must find appealing to encounter a desire to pursue a relationship.

Sexual attraction is the second level of attraction and is the chemistry between two people that evokes sexual intercourse. The desire to engage sexually speaks to a deeper level of physical connection/attraction. Sexual chemistry is beyond looks; it is a level of arousal where you desire a more intimate connection.

Social attraction is the third level in which you become attracted to how your partner or significant other engages with others and is perceived by others as attractive.

For the sake of understanding, consider the following scenario:

You finally get the courage to introduce your partner to your friends. You all are out at a bar, and you can't help but pay attention to everyone's reaction to your significant other. You focus on how your friends respond and the degree to which your significant other is received. How he/she is received ultimately increases your attraction to your significant other. Essentially, the more your significant other is accepted, the more attracted you become.

Social attraction brings you closer to being unconditionally comfortable with your partner in both intimate and social settings. It also allows you to become more attracted to your partner to the point where they begin to retain all of your attention. Similarly, in longer relationships, social attraction keeps you and your partner socially engaged and able to enjoy each other outside of the home.

Intrapersonal attraction is the fourth level, where you develop a bond with your significant other through the mind. When you relate to one another and can be physically and emotionally stimulated through conversation alone, you have reached or achieved

intrapersonal attraction.

Each of these levels can be achieved in varying orders. It just depends on the person and what gravitates them to another person.

Marriages last 20+ years because of attraction. No matter how mad one may become with his/her spouse, if they look at one another, they may quickly forget the issue because of attraction or decide it is not worth it.

You have the desire to obtain everything you need in a relationship because of attraction.

And when you have attained each level of attraction, it's safe to say you're not going anywhere...

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